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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657989">Where Do We Go From Here?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexiPearl/pseuds/LexiPearl'>LexiPearl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wynonna Earp (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Non-Graphic Smut, One Shot, Wayhaught - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:35:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,556</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657989</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexiPearl/pseuds/LexiPearl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened while Waverly was gone in the Garden. How Nicole coped with the hurt of missing her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nicole Haught/Shae Pressman, Waverly Earp &amp; Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Where Do We Go From Here?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I know we've gotten tons of these '18 months, 3 weeks and 4 days'  stories, but I don't recall seeing one like this. Although I didn't read all of them...so it's possible its been done...lol but either way, here ya go!</p><p>Spelling and grammatical errors are on me, cranked this out in 3 days.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It doesn't change the fact that I love you, Waverly. It doesn't change the fact that I still want you and only you, it doesn't change anything because you are still the love of my life, my heart, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with", she pleaded.</p><p>Waverly couldn't speak. She couldn't slow her brain down from imagining what had happened, how it happened, how long, how many times. For her it was a few hours...but for Nicole was 18 months, 3 weeks and 4 days. Nicole was alone for over a year not knowing if she'd ever see Waverly again. It was a year and a half and while she hoped her love would return, the fact of the matter was, she didn't know if she ever would.</p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Their reunion had been beautiful, passionate, earth shattering, sincere, and heavy with emotions that were overwhelming. It seemed strange to Waverly, why there were so many heavy emotions in a romp on the floor and stairs with her love she had just seen hours before. She couldn't put her finger on why Nicole clung to her so strong, held such longing eye contact, touched and caressed every inch of her naked skin as they made love on the floor and stairs.</p><p>And Nicole just wanted her close. She wasn't sure if this exact moment she longed for for so long was real or a dream. She had to feel every bit of Waverly in case this was a dream and she awoke again to a cold, lonely bed. She wanted to commit every inch of Waverly to memory, ever kiss...every taste. At the random chance she would lose her love again for who knows how long, she needed to commit everything she could about Waverly Earp in her mind so at least she'd always have her there if not in person. At least she'd have those memories, she thought. </p><p>But then out of nowhere, Waverly burst onto the Homestead land desperately searching for Nicole. And it was real again, she was real, their love, her love, was here and real. And she'd forgotten about the week 4 months back where she was so broken and hurt and lonely that she did something she never thought she would do, she never planned to do. She called Shae.</p><p>She had called Shae exactly 3 months into Waverly being gone. At first she didn't know why she called her. She didn't know what exactly she expected Shae to be able to provide or do for her. But she dialed her number and breathed a small sigh of relief hearing the familiar voice. Not at all the sweet, soft, warm voice she truly yearned to hear, but a warm, familiar voice nonetheless. One that at one point in her life calmed her and made her feel better on her worse days. A voice that whispered words of wisdom and love in her ear when she needed to hear it most.</p><p>The first call lasted an awkward (for Shae) 30 minutes, which mostly consisted of Nicole sniffling into the phone as Shae tried to say all the right things that would make her ex-wife feel better considering her new girlfriend slash fiance had gone missing in some mythical world along with her sister and sister's vampire baby daddy. Shae first had to wrap her mind around what she was being told. But once she got over the initial shock, and didn't freak out too much because if it wasn't for the weird, abnormal supernatural shit that went on around Earps, Nicole would be dead, although she wouldn't have been in that hospital bed following a deadly spider which bite if it also hadn't been for the Earps… but she wrapped her head around it enough to begin calling Nicole weekly to check up on her. The calling shifted from once a week to a couple times a week, when Shae wasn’t preoccupied by her on again off again equally busy plastic surgeon girlfriend. </p><p>It was nice for Nicole. The comfortable routine of it all. They were friends at one point, and it was nice to get that relationship back, especially now; she needed a friend who knew her, like really knew her. But a few months in when Shae mentioned she had a week long conference an hour away from Purgatory she didn't mean to invite her ex-wife out to see her, or herself over to see the doctor. But even with Rachel there, she was still missing the kind of contact and closeness only deep love could provide. But she wanted to feel a real hug, a hug that once made her feel safe and loved and home. She didn't plan to break down in tears when Shae opened the door of her king suite hotel room and fall into her arms. She just couldn't help it, she needed the contact. The endorphins pumping through her veins making her feel something other than sadness and hurt and pain. For the first time in 14 months she felt...love. Not the kind of love she and Waverly shared, not even the kind of love she and Shae once had. But the kind of love that just made you feel calm and safe.</p><p>She stayed with Shae the whole week; the room was plenty big for them both and CJ who she brought along as Shae's insistence saying she missed the orange furball. The first night was allowing Nicole to cry and cry to her hearts desire, the 2nd night was Shae venting how it hurt that Nicole had moved on to someone she clearly loved more than she ever loved her, the 3rd night they binged Netflix shows and ate pizza and wings, which of course made both of them sick due to the large quantities they individually consumed, and the 4th night they drank and talked, and eventually reminisced about their relationship which led to a soft kiss, which led to passionate, frantic sex. They awoke the next morning both with massive headaches and medium regret about what they'd done. Shae spoke first as they sat in bed, sheet clinging to both of their naked bodies. </p><p>"I shouldn’t have taken advantage of your broken heart last night, Nicky. I'm so sorry I lost control of myself and let that happen. You're hurting and in pain and needed a friend and I took advantage of that and I am so sorry", she said regretfully. </p><p>"Hey, hey, look at me. It's ok Shae, really. I don't regret what happened. I know I should but I don't. I-I needed to feel connected to another person again, I needed to breathe again. I...I know how it should seem but..she-she isn't here any..uh..anymore. I have to accept that and while I'm not ready to move on, I'm ready to at least accept it, be at peace with it. But I don't regret what we did, Shae. Although we may no longer be married, I still love you, and I feel safe with you, in so many ways. I don’t want you to think I used you, because I didn't. But the connecting, it was really nice, and I'm glad it was you", she said through sad eyes.</p><p>"Thanks for saying that, Nicky. And don't take this the wrong way but, this week, this..whatever this is, won't go beyond this time I'm out for the conference. Maybe this is the closure we both needed for our marriage and for your healing about...her not being here, but I don't want to muddy things up between us.I think there’s a chance we could be friends in the future so I hope you can understand that", she said kindly.</p><p>"I can and I agree. This trip is it, maybe a call or two a week for a while, but I completely agree. But thanks, Shae. I really appreciate you being here for me and helping me through this. You didn't have to do it, but I'm glad you decided to", she said gratefully.</p><p>They sat bare shoulder to bare shoulder, sheet covering both of their chests as they looked at each other and smiled. Nicole remembered moments like this is why she fell in love with Shae. They finally pulled their eyes away from each other at the grumbling of Shae's stomach. She slowly climbed out of bed, not bothered by Nicole seeing her naked as she strolled into the bathroom and returned with two robes, tossing one to Nicole. </p><p>"Get dressed, stud. Meet me up front, I'll have room service bring up coffee, painkillers and food", she with a wry smile as she turned and sauntered out of the room. Nicole watched her go. Once she was out of sight she let out a deep sigh and apologized to Waverly. 'Please forgive me, Waves. This doesn’t mean anything. I just- I just miss you so much. I’m so sorry. Please, please forgive me...wherever you are...if you are...I love, Waves", she finished before climbing out of bed and following behind Shae.</p><p>They sat and ate, making small talk about the conference here and there. Shae could see Nicole’s mood was lighter than when she first arrived, she figured her company must be helping her ex-wife slowly come back to herself. As Shae didn’t have much to do today until late evening they decided to spend the day together seeing the city and grabbing lunch. </p><p>Nicole had to admit, it felt spending time away from the Homestead and the drama of Purgatory. It was nice to just be for once and not worry about what’s going on, what monsters are breaching the traps she and Rachel set. They had set such great traps she felt safe leaving Rachel alone for the week (with plenty of food and ammo if needed). While seeing the city they even discussed Nicole losing her Sheriff's position to Holt Clanton. It hurt, alot. Nedley had hand picked her for the position and not only was it basically stolen from underneath her in a matter of weeks, she’d lost Nedley and Jeremy had abruptly stopped communicating and even showing up. She had truly lost everyone. So when Shae offered to ask about openings at the Vancouver PD when the conference was over and she returned home, Nicole was seriously considering uprooting her and Rachel and moving to Vancouver. Although she was getting over the hurt of losing her love, the scent of Waverly was no longer as strong as it was once in her bedroom and Nicole was sorely missing it. Maybe, as one of the last things she had to remind her of Waverly continued to slowly dissipate, meant it was truly time to let go..to give up the only bit of hope she had left. Shae promised she reach out and get what info she could and share it with Nicole, leaving the ball in her court. A new city, a new life, might be just what she needed.</p><p>They ate lunch near the park and returned to Shae’s room. Shae dressed and headed out to her event and Nicole hung back and called Rachel, just checking in. All was good at the Homestead, no attacks, no new drama in the city, so she ended the call and returned to watching Netflix.</p><p>When Shae returned that night they somehow managed to fall into bed together again. They had sex for hours. Sometimes soft, sometimes rough, which seemed to be what Nicole needed.  A way to release her feelings of frustration and anger. She was never too rough with Shae, after all Shae did like it rough, but she was rough enough to scratch a few different itches and clear her mind. They didn’t apologize the next morning like they had the first time. Nicole simply got up, called for room service and showered. They ate breakfast before Shae had to leave for the day. Nicole took the opportunity to run and burn off more nerves and energy. When Shae returned they ate dinner and Nicole decided it would be best if she returned to the Homestead. That night they only had sex once and woke up in a tight embrace; they had cudded the whole night. Nicole and CJ said their goodbye’s, Shae promising to let her know what she found out about Vancouver PD as soon as she could. </p><p>Nicole cried most of the ride home. She wasn’t sure if what she did could be considered cheating considering Waverly had been gone for over a year with no signs of ever returning. She told herself she would tell Waverly what her and Shae had done if she ever returned from the garden. She knew she would never feel right living her life with Waverly if she wasn’t honest with her… no matter the outcome.</p><p>~*~*~*~*~*~*</p><p>Now, sitting on the stairs naked with Waverly in her arms, she knew she needed to tell her. Despite how afraid she was of how her love would react. She took a deep breath and told her everything about Shae.</p><p>Waverly had quickly wrenced herself from Nicole’s embrace, got up, turned and stormed up the stairs, bare ass to the world be damned, Nicole hot on her bare heels.</p><p>“Waverly, baby, please talk to me”, she said softly as she closed the door behind her and walked to the closest to grab a shirt and shorts. Panic and fear written all over her face. Waverly was already in one of Nicole’s shirts she found on the floor, which looked like a short dress on her, as she paced the length of the room. She still couldn’t quite find the words. So Nicole tried again.</p><p>“Baby, plea-”. She was cut off by a harsh slap across her left cheek that sent her stumbling back a couple steps in surprise. </p><p>Waverly had abruptly stopped right in front of Nicole, terrifying scowl painting her beautiful face.</p><p>“How could you?!”, was all Waverly could choke out as she felt the stinging heat in her right hand start to take over.</p><p>Nicole just dropped her head. She knew telling Waverly this wouldn’t go well so she really wasn’t surprised, or even hurt really, by the slap. All she could do was apologize and beg for forgiveness.</p><p>"It doesn't change the fact that I love you, Waverly. It doesn't change the fact that I still want you and only you, it doesn't change anything because you are still the love of my life, my heart, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with", she pleaded.</p><p>“Oh God. I-I proposed to you and you-you cheated on me...with your ex-fucking wife!”, she angrily spat at Nicole who stood more upright as if flinching away from another slap.</p><p>“It’s not that simple, Waves”, she tried to defend herself. “You were gone for over a year! I didn’t plan it, I didn’t want it to happen, but it did and I’m so sorry that I hurt you, baby”, she again pleaded.</p><p>“Don’t! Don’t call me baby! You didn’t even say you regret it happening! I guess I should be glad Wynonna interrupted us when I proposed, even though you never answered!”, she continued.</p><p>“Waverly, please. I am sorry, so so sorry. I-I I do regret it, but you were gone FOR OVER A YEAR!” Her years-long frustration started to seep out. “I didn’t know if you were ever coming back! It’s not an excuse, I’m sorry it was only hours for you but it was over a year for me! Please try to understand that...how I felt with you, Wynonna, Doc, Nedley, Jeremy, Robin, EVERYONE GONE! I was alone, Waverly. Everyone I loved here in Purgatory was gone. She was a familiar face and I just needed to not feel so fucking alone for one minute! I know calling my ex-wife isn’t ideal in any situation, but imagine if it was you that had been left here completely alone. Everyday, everything just hurt so much. And the pain was not going away. Escaping everything in this room, this house, this town, that reminded me of everyone I lost, especially you… I-I needed to get away Waverly, I needed to feel something other than neverending hurt, despair...pain...sadness. Being in Calgary with her, it-it helped. It helped heal some of that pain. Not all of it because I knew when I came back you wouldn’t be here, the little break my heart got from pain for those 6 days was enough to get me through these last few months knowing you still weren’t here. I know I never gave you an answer, but I do want to spend the rest of my life with you as my wife, of course I do. But I also knew I couldn’t do that unless I was completely honest with you about what happened while you were gone. It would be this giant cloud of deceit and dishonesty hanging over us and I’d never want us to start our lives together that way”, she finally breathed out and finished.</p><p>Waverly was standing in the middle of the room she hadn’t noticed looked the same as she saw it last, but with more touches of Nicole’s obvious residence.</p><p>“Are-are you living here now?”, she asked, not addressing anything Nicole had just said.</p><p>Through a hard quirked eyebrow and head tilt of confusion, “uh, yeah I am. I wanted to be here when you got back, I just didn't realize that wouldn’t be hours later. Uhm, did-did you hear everything I just said ba-Waverly?”, she asked confused.</p><p>“I-I need you to leave, please”, she said as she looked at Nicole through the most disconnected, hurt eyes the younger girl had ever shown.</p><p>There was a long silence between the two as they held each other’s gaze before Nicole finally spoke.</p><p>“No”, she said calmly and even.</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“No. I’ve missed you for too long Waves to leave you now. I’m not leaving. You just slapped me because I slept with my ex-wife once during the year and a half you were gone. I’ve waited for you for over a year and a half, Waverly. I’m not leaving you again...ever. Even if that means you hit me again, and you want to yell and scream at me for what I did, fine. But I am not leaving this house. I am not losing you again, Waverly… I won’t survive this time”, she finished in a defeated tone.</p><p>They stood in the center of room, and arms distance apart, staring at each other.</p><p>“Where do we go from here, Nic…”.</p><p>“We work to move forward… if you still want me…”</p><p>Another agonizingly long pause. Nicole was close to losing hoping. Her one mistake so many months ago was about to cost her her entire love...her whole life.</p><p>In a soft, barely above a whisper voice, “of course I still want you...I just… need to process things in the time that’s passed for you...not the time that’s passed me for me. I-I just need to wrap my head around that. Can I have that, please?”, she asked softly.</p><p>“Of course. I understand. Take all the time you need. I’ll be here when you’re ready, Waves. I’m not going anywhere”.</p><p>“I-I I’m sorry for slapping you. That was uncalled for and it wasn’t fair. I’m sorry, Nic”.</p><p>“It’s ok, Waves. I can understand considering to you you’ve only been gone a few hours”, she said apologetically. “I’ll be out in the barn. I’ll come move my things out of the room later”, she said a bit dejected. She grabbed sweatpants, her black beanie and a sweater remembering the heavier winter clothes they left scattered about downstairs. </p><p>She turned and walked out the door as Waverly broke down and cried, collapsing on the bed.</p><p>*****</p><p>Nicole has spent the whole day checking traps, setting and baiting traps and collecting firewood; Waverly gets cold easily, she may need more wood, she thought to herself. Having some extra wood in the barn wouldn't hurt either considering she didn't know how long she'd be sleeping out there. </p><p>She wasn't surprised by Waverly’s reaction but she was a bit taken aback that Waverly would tell her to leave after she'd just explained how for her it had been 18 months since they'd seen each other. Rachel had been off with her 'friend' since the fight started and hadn't been home all day. She hadn't even gone back up to get her clothes yet.</p><p>She knocked around the entire day without seeing Waverly. Her heart was beginning to break all over again. To have what you've been craving, missing for so long so aggressively snatched right out of your hands almost hurt more than the first time. It was about 11pm when she looked up at the sound of the barn door opening.</p><p>"Nic, please come back...to our room. I meant what I said. I-I I love you", as she extended her hand to Nicole. </p><p>Nicole couldn't have gotten to her any quicker. She took her loves hand and they walked out of the barn together hand in hand. They would work through this together, they had to.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not my best ending, but I've been playing with the idea of Nicole straying a bit while Waverly was gone in the Garden. I had the premise of the story and the beginning but didn't really know how I wanted to end it. Not a big fan of this ending but wanted to get this out. May be a part 2 that delves into Waverly’s feelings and a better ending. Thanks for reading as always!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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